*post updated March, 2024

Are you a brain expert?  If you’ve made it to this blog, you’re certainly on a quest for more brain knowledge.  As ADHDers, we have to be brain experts, but not in the way you might think.  Being a brain expert as an ADHDer means you’re an expert on YOUR OWN BRAIN.  You must learn how it works so you can accomplish things and become a “productive member of society.”

Brain Coaching

Photo by Marco Ceschi on Unsplash

As a Mom of an ADHDer, I have to help my son accomplish things, but I also need to support and grow his personal brain expertise.  I’m not just trying to see what works for him, although that’s half of the game.  I am keeping track of what works and then teaching him to use those strategies daily.  On most days I am his “brain coach.”  I start with the basics (correct nutrition, 9-11 hours of sleep, ordered and structured environment, exercise, and time with nature.  This is how a brain functions at a high level).  I then must take note of what works when the basics are covered and there is still a meltdown, emotional outburst, shutdown, or dysregulation.

Here are 3 no-fail strategies to use when the brain game should be strong (ie–high-functioning brain activities have occurred), but there is still unrest. 

1. Fill the relationship bucket.  There is a WHOLE MENU devoted to this topic on my blog because it is the meat and potatoes of winning the ADHD war with your children (not against, WITH THEM).  When you’re at your wit’s end and about to explode, fill the bucket.  Take him to feed the birds, nearby.  Plan a play date with a good friend whom he hasn’t seen in a while.  Better still, savor 2 all-natural fruit popsicles over a deep, or completely meaningless outdoor porch conversation.

 2. Rough-housing. This may seem to fall under the exercise category, but it’s not.  Roughhousing is ESSENTIAL frontal lobe stimulation for children, ESPECIALLY children with ADHD.  My husband and I have a king bed which takes up MOST of the space in our small, 1950s master bedroom.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way.  If you don’t have a king bed to throw children on when the going gets tough, look for a used trampoline (trust me, people ALWAYS want to unload them).

3. Keep a FIND YOUR FOCUS CRAFT BOX.  This is another way to calm the heightened emotions of the ADHD brain.  In our special craft box, I have unopened pokemon cards, scratch-off art papers in which you remove the outer layer to reveal beautiful shiny colors using a stencil and a wooden stick, new play-doh that has never been touched or mixed, and a mini zen garden, as well.  When we’ve all had it in my household, the magic box comes to the rescue.  All the negative energy goes out while the focus and calm come in.

I hope you can use some of these tips.  Don’t ever underestimate the power of the 20-second hug if all else fails and nothing else is available!  Get your child off the emotional sidelines and into the game!

So, are you your child’s brain expert?  What do you do when your ADHD child is “done” and you are, too?