This post lists many of the “hurdles” I’ve jumped in the 8 years since I learned my son (and then my husband and I) had ADHD. Read on for some of the “oh sh$&” and “I can do this” moments in my battle to gain a sense of control over our ADHD household.
Maybe these will resonate with you. . .
-I no longer freak out if neighbors pop in because of the mess.
-People don’t talk over one another in our house (that much).
-People eat dinner together without a screen in their face.
-I want to spend time with my kids and I no longer put them in front of a movie because I can’t handle their behavior.
-I’m not walking on egg shells around my partner because I know what sets him off and when to leave him alone.
-I know hanger is a real thing and I am ready and equipped with cliff bars to handle it.
-I won’t assume my child isn’t interested in something like chess because he’s hyperactive.
-We will go out to a restaurant together and not have everyone staring, like “I didn’t know the circus was in town.”
-In our house, people say what they mean, they aren’t just MEAN.
-I know the difference between my child talking and his emotions/condition/meds talking.
-My child has accommodations at school and he knows when he does and doesn’t need them.
-My child understands his own symptoms and apologizes or says “I don’t know why I got so mad, threw that toy, slammed the door.”
-I am able to remember things like my child’s field trip form so he’s not THE ADHD KID without the necessary tools or supplies.
-I know what a fidget spinner, knitting needles and yarn, or other refocus tool is and I know how to use it.
-I’m learning how to homeschool and I will make an informed decision about which education style works best for my son. #knowingishalfthebattle #yesimadeaGIJoereference
-I know how to create a calm space in each room of the house and it’s cheap (new meaning for the phrase escape room).
-I know that getting my mind right gets my life right and I’m willing to make diet and exercise a priority for me and my family because it helps quell ADHD symptoms.
-I will not feel embarrassed when a neighbor sees me walking down the street with my 2 year-old who is completely out of control. I’m no longer secretly afraid she knows I have ADHD and thinks that’s why I’m not a good mom and can’t control my kid.
-I will put any doctor to shame who says ADHD women may not want to have kids, and DEFINITELY NOT THREE. YES, a doctor actually said that to me!!!
-I will not cry when the pharmacy has run out of the medication I am taking and they tell me “there is a limited amount of this medication available because it’s a controlled substance.” Listen, my brain is a controlled substance and I’m losing the control right now, a$$hole.
-I will not feel shame when I leave the doctors office in tears because she tells me “you’re just busy, try meditation, I don’t think you have ADHD.”
-I won’t have another morning where all the laundry is dirty or “mystery” (clean? dirty? mixed?) so my son wears stained shorts to school.
-I’ll wake up before my children to get some quiet focus for my day before “Who let the dogs out?” becomes my theme song.
-I will not feel badly about choosing not to spank my children. I don’t care how many family members tell me to get my kids and their screaming under control.
-I will not spit on the woman who screamed at my son when he was playing in the revolving door. She also shared that I should stop letting my son run wild when I opened the “regular” door for her because it was easier than dealing with a meltdown from him. There are places for people like you lady, and it ain’t heaven.
-I will not give up on a medication trial until I’m sure I’ve tried enough dosages and different medicines.
-I’m strong and educated enough about ADHD to have my reservations about meds, but still try them.
-I’m strong enough in my ADHD medication convictions to say, that’s not for me or my child right now.
-I will never judge a parent because I have a kid who is different and I know we all have our own stories-conditions-reasons for doing what we do.
-I will never shame my son or let a family member shame him by calling him lazy, or making fun of his flapping arms or other spectrum-y behaviors.
-I will never give up on myself or my child. I know that ADHD makes us special, different and connected in a way most don’t understand. It’s a super power, especially once you’ve mastered your shortcomings.
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